31

When is it exactly that birthdays stop mattering?  I can now answer that question.  It's thirty-one.

I turned thirty-one years old today.  I started the day feeling sort of sorry for myself.  I mean, last year was a big one, and I planned a fun girls' getaway to Palm Desert.  A group of us gathered together for spa treatments, lots of meals out, shopping, and plenty of girl talk.  These same friends urged me to plan something similar this year, but the chaos of my home situation right now, plus the hurdle of having to line up childcare for all my kiddos was overwhelming, so I didn't plan a thing. 

So this morning, after a couple of hours of moping around the backyard, I prayed.  It was a silly, selfish prayer, something like, "God, make my birthday fun." After this little self-serving plea, I looked up and saw that the babies were soaking themselves with a hose.  More specifically, J.D. had the hose, and he was calmly drenching G over the head with the spouting water.  Her little hands were in the air and she was attempting to look up into the water as it streamed over her head.  She was laughing and smiling and shrieking.  J.D. looked at me to make sure he hadn't crossed the line, and I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me, like we were in on something.  And everything was o.k.

It was the greatest moment.  I guess it was only the tiniest bit spoiled because I didn't have my camera to get a shot to share it with others.  But maybe that was the point.  I fully enjoyed it, sat there and laughed with my two one-year-olds.  I whispered another prayer, but this time it was a prayer of honest thanks. 

So I say, so what if thirty-one is not a big deal!  What is a big deal is that my little niece, Ellie turns two this Sunday.  Another big deal is that my two premature babies are about to mark a milestone birthday as well, as they turn two this June.  A huge big deal is that E graduates from kindergarten in a few weeks, and Cubby finishes up her first year of pre-school.  Another year, another file of memories and milestones is tucked away in my mind. 

How did I get to be so blessed?  My thirty first year will be one I look back on and say, "Oh, I remember that year, don't you Danny? We had it made!  Our house may have been a mess, but it was full of joy."

This picture says it all.  Mother's Day 2010.