Yep, this one's about me. I hate to admit it, but I am crazy competitive. I have been like this my entire life. But I am ready for a serious change since really, it's no fun for anyone to play games with a person with this much need to win.
My competitive streak started way back in my volleyball and basketball days in high school. I loved being the big hitter or the blocker during volleyball matches. I thrived on winning. I loved playing volleyball with a passion, and I, being taller than a lot of other players, had an advantage that made it truly fun and exciting to play.
Now as far as basketball goes, the honest truth is that I wasn't a very good player. I had the height, but no speed, and no real coordination or shooting precision. So, my coach just put me under the basket and I would rebound and shoot the ball in the basket by using the backboard all day long. It wasn't rocket science, and a kid like me, without real talent or stamina, was able to get pretty far in a small league like the Imperial Valley.
As a thirty-something-stay-at-home mom, I don't get to compete in volleyball or basketball games much anymore. I have to release my need to compete somehow, so I (sadly) do it through games with friends and family. When Danny and I were first married, we played Scrabble once in a while. Scrabble is my favorite game of all time. I would always beat his butt, no question. However, after a few months of steady play, Danny started catching on to a strategy and began catching up to me. I was beating him by a smaller and smaller margin. One fateful day, and I am so ashamed to admit this, but he pulled ahead of me in the game, and I literally got up and left the table. I have never lived that one down, let me tell you. Even now, he'll ask before we begin a game, "Are we going to finish this game?" It only happened once, but it stuck as a very unlovely memory.
We started playing games pretty regularly a couple of years ago with another couple, Luke and Elizabeth. They were both very experienced in game playing, and would often bring over new games and teach them to me and Danny. Now, they had never seen this competitive side of me before; I had tried fairly hard to keep it hidden, knowing how ugly it could be. But one day, they brought over a super fun, but very challenging (for me) card game called Phase 10. Basically, to win the game, you have to get through all ten phases to win the game. I couldn't get past phase 1. They were all moving ahead into phase 3, then 4, then 5. I couldn't get past phase 1. My cards were atrocious. I finally slammed my hand down on the table and walked away. They were in shock. Elizabeth's mouth seriously dropped open like in one of those movies when someone sees something unbelievable. It was horrible, ugly and most of all, rude. I immediately felt ashamed.
I have had to consciously work on my need to win ever since that day. I have tried hard to keep level-headed, repeating in my mind, "It's only a game, it's only a game." Now just a few years ago, my sister married my sweet brother-in-law, John. John is an excellent, although super stealthy, game player. He will get behind in a game, so that you think he's out of the running, then he'll come out with an awesome hand, that just blows everyone out of the water. He's the guy that lays all his cards down on the first hand, leaving everyone to clean up their disastrous remnants. Now he's competitive, too, but nothing like me. He teases me to get me going, and I tease back, and then the old April just comes out of nowhere. Now as we all get seated around the table to play, the trash talk starts, usually aimed at me and sometimes at John, and it sometimes cycles out of control. Kind of like tonight.
My competitive spirit turned ugly. I love playing the game, and don't realize how that need to win looks to others around me. It ain't pretty. That's all I'm saying. I don't think a little bit of healthy competition is bad at all. And it's funny how some games I don't feel that great need to win. Let's just say it's selective. I've decided to stay away from those games that get me really fired up, at least for a while. I guess I just really don't ever want my kids to see me flare up like that, especially at their dad, over what? A game? Too silly. Too crazy.
I'm just wondering how many people have someone in their lives like me. Someone who gets hurt when another game player decides to "skip" them in the game. Someone who people warn others about before playing, like, "April's playing, be careful!" Yep, that's me. Crazy competitive. But working on it. Starting today, I'm working on focusing on the people's faces around the table more than the game board in front of me.
Anybody want to play?
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